Frozen-SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE, DO NOT READ!
I was curious to know how a 94 minute film about three people stuck on a Ski Lift could be the least bit entertaining. Three college students snowboarding on a mountain in New England are short cash for lift tickets and decide to bribe the lift ticket operator to hook them up. The Ski Lift Op, who is entranced by the female of the trio's cleavage agrees and sends them up for one hundred bucks.
The two males of the group have been friends since childhood and the girl is one of the guy’s new girlfriend. After a full day of sliding down bunny hills due to the girl’s lack of experience, the single guy wants at least one good run before they go home. Nightfall is upon them and the mountain is closing down, but our cleavage loving ski lift operator agrees to send them up again. Oh no, the ski lift operator is called away to the office and he informs his relief that there will be three people coming down and when they do, he can shut down the lift. Oh no, there just happened to be three snowboarders who come down in which the relief thinks these are the three the prior operator was referring to. He shuts down the lift and the three protagonists are left stranded in the air midway to the top of the mountain.
Once they see the lights are powering off they realize that they have been forgotten about. Even worse, this ski resort is only open on weekends and today happens to be Sunday. Half of Frozen is entertaining, while the other half tests our intelligence and wastes our time. This film would have worked better as a 45 minute short than a full length feature.
The Protagonists our three college students, however, we don't know what they are majoring in. What is obvious is that they are majoring in stupidity and minoring in lack of common sense. First case in point, when it's obvious that they have been forgotten and the lights are shutting down, it's so quite you can hear a pin drop. Common sense tells me to yell at the top of my lungs. It’s quite and sound carries in vast spaces.
Second case in point, the lift poles have ladders which lead to the ground. The nearest one to our protagonists is about 20 feet away. Climb out of the chair and pull yourself along the cable. Hey, it’s cold out and it’s only going to get colder, best attempt this now before we start to feel numb. Wait, the boyfriend has a better idea, jump! Yes, jump down to the ground with your legs completely stiff and try to land on your feet. Oh no, he broke both his legs. Gee, I bet if he tried to control his body a little bit more, he probably would have only broken one leg. Oh oh, the bones from your broken legs have ripped thru your skin and you’re bleeding. Oh no, the scent of your blood has attracted the local carnivorous wild life. What not to tell your crippled bleeding friend when you hear wolves howl, “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s not wolves, probably just Coyotes.” I had no idea that Coyotes were less vicious and carnivorous than wolves, boy that would make me feel better.
As to not spoil the whole movie, I’ll just mention from this point, it becomes back-story and soul searching time. This movie could have worked if it wasn’t for the unintelligent plot points and one huge plot hole. In a scene at the clubhouse, we are forced to a view a missing person flyer. Why is this relevant? Why was it important to show that to the viewer? Um, no reason at all, it was simply pointless. Unless it’s trying to tell us that some people go missing while skiing? I have no idea. Do yourself a favor and skip this movie and remember, I watch bad movies, so you don’t have to.
I was curious to know how a 94 minute film about three people stuck on a Ski Lift could be the least bit entertaining. Three college students snowboarding on a mountain in New England are short cash for lift tickets and decide to bribe the lift ticket operator to hook them up. The Ski Lift Op, who is entranced by the female of the trio's cleavage agrees and sends them up for one hundred bucks.
The two males of the group have been friends since childhood and the girl is one of the guy’s new girlfriend. After a full day of sliding down bunny hills due to the girl’s lack of experience, the single guy wants at least one good run before they go home. Nightfall is upon them and the mountain is closing down, but our cleavage loving ski lift operator agrees to send them up again. Oh no, the ski lift operator is called away to the office and he informs his relief that there will be three people coming down and when they do, he can shut down the lift. Oh no, there just happened to be three snowboarders who come down in which the relief thinks these are the three the prior operator was referring to. He shuts down the lift and the three protagonists are left stranded in the air midway to the top of the mountain.
Once they see the lights are powering off they realize that they have been forgotten about. Even worse, this ski resort is only open on weekends and today happens to be Sunday. Half of Frozen is entertaining, while the other half tests our intelligence and wastes our time. This film would have worked better as a 45 minute short than a full length feature.
The Protagonists our three college students, however, we don't know what they are majoring in. What is obvious is that they are majoring in stupidity and minoring in lack of common sense. First case in point, when it's obvious that they have been forgotten and the lights are shutting down, it's so quite you can hear a pin drop. Common sense tells me to yell at the top of my lungs. It’s quite and sound carries in vast spaces.
Second case in point, the lift poles have ladders which lead to the ground. The nearest one to our protagonists is about 20 feet away. Climb out of the chair and pull yourself along the cable. Hey, it’s cold out and it’s only going to get colder, best attempt this now before we start to feel numb. Wait, the boyfriend has a better idea, jump! Yes, jump down to the ground with your legs completely stiff and try to land on your feet. Oh no, he broke both his legs. Gee, I bet if he tried to control his body a little bit more, he probably would have only broken one leg. Oh oh, the bones from your broken legs have ripped thru your skin and you’re bleeding. Oh no, the scent of your blood has attracted the local carnivorous wild life. What not to tell your crippled bleeding friend when you hear wolves howl, “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s not wolves, probably just Coyotes.” I had no idea that Coyotes were less vicious and carnivorous than wolves, boy that would make me feel better.
As to not spoil the whole movie, I’ll just mention from this point, it becomes back-story and soul searching time. This movie could have worked if it wasn’t for the unintelligent plot points and one huge plot hole. In a scene at the clubhouse, we are forced to a view a missing person flyer. Why is this relevant? Why was it important to show that to the viewer? Um, no reason at all, it was simply pointless. Unless it’s trying to tell us that some people go missing while skiing? I have no idea. Do yourself a favor and skip this movie and remember, I watch bad movies, so you don’t have to.
No comments:
Post a Comment