Seventh Moon

Another Ghost House Underground release about a honeymooning couple in China who stumble upon a Day of the Dead celebration, in which the dead come back to life to reak havoc on the living for one night of the year. The newlywed couple are betrayed by their trusted cab driver and left abandoned in a small village in which they are intended to be used as an offering for the dead. What this movie turns into is a rip off of The Descent. The couple is chased around by pail creepy monsters that live in a cave. If anyone recalls, The Descent is about a group of woman spelunking in a cave who are terrorized by pail creepy monsters.

Offspring

I started watching the Ghost House Underground DVD's which are an off shoot of Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures for direct to DVD horror fare. The Offspring is based on a Jack Ketchum novel about a group of Nomad cannibals who wander up and down the East coast line.

Jack Ketchum can best be described as The poor mans Dean Koontz and considering that Dean Koontz is the poor mans Stephen King, it doesn't say much for Jack Ketchum. Offspring is an obvious rip off of The Hills Have Eyes. If you have a craving for Cannibalistic Nomads you should watch Hills, but the original please, not the lame remake.

The Hurt Locker

Is a masterpiece that blows anything else Kathryn Bigelow has done in the past away (with the exception perhaps of Near Dark). Centered on a Bomb Squad in Iraq, we follow them day to day thru the last thirty odd days of their tour of duty. A picture of pain, fear and reckless abandon is painted so vividly that this film is sometimes hard to watch, but yet we can not turn our heads from the screen. Hurt Locker is a truly powerful film that delves deep into the psyche of men who everyday, put their life on the line.

Lesbian Vampire Killers

A British import about two friends who cross the paths with Lesbian Vampires. Yes, it’s a comedy, but unfortunately, it’s not funny. Tries to be Shaun Of The Dead, But falls really short.

While She Was Out

This movie is so bad it’s good. An abused and battered housewife, played by Kim Basinger, goes to the mall on Christmas Eve to buy wrapping paper. On her way out, she is assaulted by a group of thugs who represent each color of the ethnic rainbow. When her car crashes into a new abandoned subdivision development, she escapes into the woods armed only with a toolbox, in which the contents of , has the means to take her attackers out one by one. Truly hilarious!

The Final Destination

The fourth installment of the Final Destination franchise in which a group of people escape death and spend the rest of the movie running from it. I enjoyed the first three, but there is nothing new here. The only attraction is that it is presented in 3-D and that wasn’t very impressive.

The Book of Eli

Thirty years into the aftermath of the apocalypse in which the earth was burned by a solar flair, a loner played by Denzel Washington is traveling cross country with the last remaining copy of the Holy Bible. He is on a quest to get it into the right hands and hopefully do the world some good. In his travels he comes across a shanty town founded and run by Carnagie, played by Gary Oldman, who has been on a quest to find a copy of the bible to use its words to deceive and control the masses.

Book of Eli is a very interesting tale, which depicts how the Holy word can be used as the key to salvation or an instrument of evil. The Book of Eli is a fun and interesting movie and is the first film from The Hughes Brothers since From Hell. It’s only downfall is Mila Kunis. She’s adequate in light hearted comedies, but in dramatic roles, she tanks. Her stale and at times over acted performance took me out of the movie a couple of times. She was definitely miscast.

Daybreakers

I was never a fan of the Spierig Brothers. I felt that their comedy zombie film, Undead was old hat, overrated and unfunny. They have won me over with Daybreakers, a fresh twist on the vampire genre, which carries an important message beneath its surface.

In the near future, society has been overrun by vampires. What was left of the human race were offered a choice of assimilation or be treated like human cattle and farmed for blood. What is left of those who value their humanity go into hiding as the vampires blood supply begins to run out. While in a race against time to develop a synthetic blood supplement, starving vampires begin feeding on themselves as well as each other.

The lead synthetic blood scientist falls into the hands of a small group of humans who believe there is a cure for vampirism. The scientist, played by Ethan Hawke has been thirsting for the return of his own humanity and agrees to help them.

This is more than action horror film. It carries a pretty powerful message tapping into depletion of resources, acceptance and survival. Over all its very entertaining, great script, concept, performance and direction. It also reverts to old school effects. There is minimal CGI which used only for the sets, where the make up, gore and explosions are practical. Daybreakers is an independent that is further proof that Hollywood does not need to poor 100's of millions into a film for it to be entertaining, thought provoking and original.

The Thaw

One of the better Ghost House Underground Films produced by Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Pictures. Thaw centers on a Scientist (played by demoted to C level actor, Val Kilmer) Studying the effects of global warming in the Arctic. When the Scientist and his team discover a thawing Woolly Mammoth in the ice, they discover that a living prehistoric parasite has thawed with it. This parasite is not only lethal, but spreads faster than margarine. It becomes a game of survival and deception as the team tries to confine themselves to the vicinity of the find, to try to control and contain the outbreak. Good Sci Fi fun in the vein of The Thing.

Fame

Why was this a remake, it could have easily been a sequel. There are a few plot points carried over from the original, but not enough to call this a remake. In the original, we were introduced to six central characters that we felt for and cared about. We followed them thru four years of their stay at the Performing Arts Academy in NYC all the way to their graduation. It was dark, funny and entertaining enough to bring out the theater fag in us all.

Fame 2009 introduces us to so many characters we can’t keep up, nor are we given enough character development to even care. Yes, it’s slick, stylish, filled with music and dance, but that’s about it. It’s almost a string of music videos connected by little vignettes of forgettable substance. Remakes are never as good as the original.

Saw 6

The sixth installment and supposedly the last of the Saw series follows Detective Hoffman as he carries out Jigsaws last game. For those of you not familiar with how the story of Saw has progressed, Jigsaw died is Saw 3 and his last remaining games are being carried out by his accomplice, Detective Mark Hoffman.

I wasn’t a huge fan of the first Saw film. I felt it was a great script which was poorly directed and as a result, poorly acted. I was won over with Saw 2, when Darren Lynn Bousman took over the directors’ reigns. The last Saw sequel Bousman directed was Saw 4. He had since moved on to the now cult film, Repo the Genetic Opera.

Bousman absence was apparent in Saw 5 as it is Saw 6. The twist was pretty weak in Saw 5 as it is in Saw 6. Saw 6 has an open ending that tells me that a Saw 7 is in the works. Saw 6 isn’t a total waste of time, it is however obvious that the series is running out of steam.

Gamer

Gamer-From the writing/directing team of Neveldine and Taylor (Crank and Crank 2), comes another fun, fast paced, stylized action thriller.

In the future video games have reached a point in technology where actual people can be controlled in live action Sim and shooter games. Inmates on death row our given the option to volunteer for the shooter and if they can survive thirty sessions, they will be set free. That’s just the basic set up.

The plot involves a death row inmate (Gerard Butler) who has been framed and has become a pawn in the game so that he can be reunited with his wife and daughter. The villain (Michael C. Hall) has gained much fame and fortune for developing this gaming technology and aims to use it for a darker purpose. Believe it or not, this is really a fun film that can best be described as a non-stop rollercoaster ride. It was also shot on the Red Camera with a small budget of 50 million. It looks like they spent hundreds. Whether or not you’re a fan of the Crank films, it’s incredibly hard not to love Gamer.

Frozen

Frozen-SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE, DO NOT READ!

I was curious to know how a 94 minute film about three people stuck on a Ski Lift could be the least bit entertaining. Three college students snowboarding on a mountain in New England are short cash for lift tickets and decide to bribe the lift ticket operator to hook them up. The Ski Lift Op, who is entranced by the female of the trio's cleavage agrees and sends them up for one hundred bucks.
The two males of the group have been friends since childhood and the girl is one of the guy’s new girlfriend. After a full day of sliding down bunny hills due to the girl’s lack of experience, the single guy wants at least one good run before they go home. Nightfall is upon them and the mountain is closing down, but our cleavage loving ski lift operator agrees to send them up again. Oh no, the ski lift operator is called away to the office and he informs his relief that there will be three people coming down and when they do, he can shut down the lift. Oh no, there just happened to be three snowboarders who come down in which the relief thinks these are the three the prior operator was referring to. He shuts down the lift and the three protagonists are left stranded in the air midway to the top of the mountain.
Once they see the lights are powering off they realize that they have been forgotten about. Even worse, this ski resort is only open on weekends and today happens to be Sunday. Half of Frozen is entertaining, while the other half tests our intelligence and wastes our time. This film would have worked better as a 45 minute short than a full length feature.
The Protagonists our three college students, however, we don't know what they are majoring in. What is obvious is that they are majoring in stupidity and minoring in lack of common sense. First case in point, when it's obvious that they have been forgotten and the lights are shutting down, it's so quite you can hear a pin drop. Common sense tells me to yell at the top of my lungs. It’s quite and sound carries in vast spaces.
Second case in point, the lift poles have ladders which lead to the ground. The nearest one to our protagonists is about 20 feet away. Climb out of the chair and pull yourself along the cable. Hey, it’s cold out and it’s only going to get colder, best attempt this now before we start to feel numb. Wait, the boyfriend has a better idea, jump! Yes, jump down to the ground with your legs completely stiff and try to land on your feet. Oh no, he broke both his legs. Gee, I bet if he tried to control his body a little bit more, he probably would have only broken one leg. Oh oh, the bones from your broken legs have ripped thru your skin and you’re bleeding. Oh no, the scent of your blood has attracted the local carnivorous wild life. What not to tell your crippled bleeding friend when you hear wolves howl, “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s not wolves, probably just Coyotes.” I had no idea that Coyotes were less vicious and carnivorous than wolves, boy that would make me feel better.
As to not spoil the whole movie, I’ll just mention from this point, it becomes back-story and soul searching time. This movie could have worked if it wasn’t for the unintelligent plot points and one huge plot hole. In a scene at the clubhouse, we are forced to a view a missing person flyer. Why is this relevant? Why was it important to show that to the viewer? Um, no reason at all, it was simply pointless. Unless it’s trying to tell us that some people go missing while skiing? I have no idea. Do yourself a favor and skip this movie and remember, I watch bad movies, so you don’t have to.

Legion

Legion is another film exploiting the Apocalypse. This time around, God has turned his back on mankind and has decided to end it all by unleashing a swarm of insects on the Earth and send his Archangel, Michael to prevent the coming of the new Messiah. However Michael has a change of heart and believes man deserves another chance and decides to protect the unborn child instead. Holed up in a truck stop in the middle of the Mojave desert, Michael and the Truck Stop Patrons do their best to protect the Truck Stop waitress carrying the second coming and hold off what's left of mankind, who have been possesed by foul mouthed angels.

The film starts strong and even provides a couple of laughs, but then in the middle, it slows down and we have to listen to every heart felt back story of everyone in the Truck Stop, most of which don't live to enter the third reel of the film. Legion was a great idea that fell really short early on. It's a shame. because there is a lot of lore with in the realm of angels in which there is so much potential for great story telling. The Prophecy with Christopher Walken is still the best in the genre of dark rebellious Angel films.